Spur Ranch

Cabernet Sauvignon

$4.99

I did it again, winos. I got this god-forsaken wine from the dollar store. When will I learn? I am a foolish person for thinking this would be a good time. I don’t want the wine to be bad. With every bottom-shelf bottle, I hope for the best. Not today, friends. Today was rough.

A pungent, repugnant plum monstrosity has awoken from its glass chamber. Earthy root flavors blended with allspice. Velvet marshlands overpower the flavors, leaving a waxy residue and skunky breath.

Not an unreasonably bad wine. I’d bring it as a passive-aggressive gesture, or drink it when I’m already drunk. Swampy as fuck, with dusty accents.