Benedictus de Vatican

Reserve Sacree (lol it’s a red blend)

Cost: Free to me
Per the Google: $17.99

Benedicts get a bad reputation. I’m not sure how fair that reputation is, but there has been a string of unlikeable Benedicts in history. I wonder if the name had bearing on the wine’s flavor, or if it was the other way around.

Anyway, this wine is a little rough around the edges. I don’t mean to offend – again, the recipe has been in the winemaker’s family since the 1600s and that’s a long time. I just wish it were more palatable. Pretentiously lush, this sour juice box sits soulless and jaded. I want to filter it through a spice blend. I’m longing for a peppery kick – anything to complicate the (relatively) bland jam flavors. I’d rather it be bad in its aspirations, than the unremarkable purple veneer that fills my glass. Cheap paint on a ventriloquist’s mask. A charade of pious flavor, covered in cheap gold and jewels. It has a sharp, toothy smell, and I am not here for it. I am reminded of wooden puppets and creepy dolls. While I drank the entire bottle, I would not necessarily recommend the full consumption.

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