La Vieille Ferme Rosé

2020

$6.66 (lol)

Bonus points for the twist-off top.

Delicate pink. French as fuck. Super nosey and forward. A gaudy bouquet of floral smells. I should’ve accessorized my wine glass with taffeta ribbons and glitter. I desperately want need a cheap, plastic tiara. I don’t generally like rosé. Fancy rosé is usually wasted on me. Fortunately (?) I burned my mouth before I sampled the doily-esque wine. I think if the situation were different, I would be having a bad time. Because the taste has been adjusted – muted, even – this maybe-rosé isn’t half bad. It doesn’t make spending Valentine’s Day alone any worse.

I recommend you buy a discount box of chocolates and treat yourself to a bubble bath. Light up those stale cigarettes you’ve been saving. Throw on Basic Instinct and do your best to enjoy this oddity of a wine.