Well Re(a)d

California Red Wine

$5.99

Happy 2022, wineos, winebibblers, and all of those in-between. I hope everyone had a joyous holiday, filled with spirits and love. Even if you had none of those things, I am sending those joyous vibes through my computer screen and into your face. It’s a new year, afterall.

I wanted to find a holiday wine to wrap the year out with, but I mostly stuck to cocktails and beer for NYE. When I woke up from my NYE haze, I realized it was already January 4th. Oh no! Off to Trader Joe’s I went, determined to find something – ANYTHING – to drink and write about. When I saw the delightfully cozy label of this wine, I had to grab it. This label is what I would consider “goals” for my future office. Warm fire, a variety of books, general solitude. Only later did I realize this very bottle of red wine has a full glass of white wine in the image. I feel like I’ve uncovered some strange secret. Did the label designer know this was going on a red blend? Were they trolling or misinformed? Was this supposed to be a white wine? I mean, they clearly made a pun with the wine name. It seems the wine was supposed to be a red (read) wine. Should I shut up and drink the stuff, or is there a mystery there? I’ll never know, because I don’t think I’ll be buying another bottle.

Organic means this wine smells like leather and soil, with brassy hints on the surface. A grandmother’s sofa or your weird uncle’s fireside carpet. Organic means it’s a better wine, even if it does not taste good. And this wine, my friends, does not taste good.

That’s not a totally fair statement, as good is subjective. The initial sips are intense blasts of fruit and pocket lint. It mellows out into a buttery melt – if by buttery, you mean wood polish dripping down and coating your throat. I wouldn’t say it’s completely unenjoyable, as I was not expecting the shift.

Honest swill. A true gulper of a wine. You’ll need to take big sips to get through the bottle – I know, because I did.