Columbia Valley – “the Burn,” Borne of Fire Chardonnay – 2018

Borne of Fire Chardonnay

$5.97 (Regular Price: $22)

I fear for what’s to come. Not only does the markdown present a frightening allure, but the word born is spelled in Old-Timey English and accompanied by a mischievous-looking phoenix. Will I spit fire or turn into a dragon? I hope so. Will burning comets rain from the sky and burst cities into ruin? I hope no!

Either way, worse things have happened after a night of Chardonnay. I tend to avoid white wines because they are generally inferior to reds (and bad white wines give me a headache), but I’ll not be deterred by the boiling lava that spins in my head from looking at the bottle. Smells alcohol-y and dry. I’m positive this fermented within a demon’s cave. Again, I fear for what is to come.

It… is not bad? Don’t get me wrong, the heartburn afterwards was its own torture. I unfortunately had to drink several bottles of antacid the next morning. The actual experience of drinking said wine was quite delightful. I’d consider it a “standard” chard – inoffensive, not too buttery or oaky. Crispy, toasty rye bread in a glass. I made sure to add a massive, round ice cube to my glass. Fancy style. Pinky up. I drank the whole bottle and became more wizardly with each sip! It was freeing. I felt reborne. The sun doesn’t burn so bright, but this wine sparkles in its own triumph.

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