Nameless Airport Wine

Approx. $12

Airport wine is best wine, I tell myself, but truth be told airport wine is literally the worst. The lies we tell ourselves have no bounds. I don’t think they even gave me a full pour of this bitter red blend swill. Did they make it in the airport basement? It’s always an overpriced gamble. Once again, I’ve lost. I hoped the growling tiger on the label meant it was a fierce and forward concoction. Instead, the tiger was telling me to stay the f away (as it does in nature, lest you want to be eaten by a tiger.)

The red blend seemed to be the least of many evils propped on the illuminated airport bar. It seemed more appealing than the room-temperature Chardonnay, or God-forbid the blank-labeled Merlot (I shudder to think about it.) Aggressively bland and disheartening, I had an honest “pinch your nose and suck it down” experience. You shouldn’t have to make a face at a $12 3-ounce pour, but here we are. Lesson learned – get beer or hard liquor at the airport bar. It will always be the better choice.