Leelanau Wine Cellars

Festivus Red Blend

$10

Where do I begin?

The wind is howling in Michigan. The skies are blue and gray, and the weather varies from rain to snow to sun. I am a frigid pansy when it comes to the elements. My body needs something rich, warm and velvety to feel normal again. Thank goodness for Festivus wine.

Holy crap, I love this wine. It’s an unassuming delight. An unexpected favorite. I have only fanciful, nice things to say. I can’t even pretend to dislike it. Me! The whiniest wine-o in the world! I’m clearly still suffering from jetlag.

This is a “lounge in a clawfoot tub, smoke a cigarette and cry to French music” kind of wine. Being versatile, it can also blind the busy buzz noise at family holiday dinners. You can walk the slushy streets of the suburbs, take in the twinkly lights that are sprouting on the houses. You can confront your high school bully at the neighborhood bar. Hug your former teacher and thank them for shaping you into the person you’ve become, only for them to politely leave and scurry away. The options are literally endless. I feel empowered with every sip. _{*insert “feats of strength” joke here.}

It goes down easy, leaving mulberry joy on your palate. Smells dainty like mistletoe and pine, but don’t let that be a deterrent. I will happily air my grievances to friends and foes alike, as long as I have a full glass of Festivus in my hand. I encourage others to air their grievances back to me! Open communication. No boundaries. That’s my new motto.

This is the tonic we need to get through the upcoming holidays. A bulbous miracle of blended flavors. Get your Christmas shopping done early. Stuff these bottles of wine into your friends’ stockings and they will be thanking you for years. Ho ho ho or whatever, I’m drunk now.

^{(Shout-out to my sister-in-law for introducing me to my new favorite red blend. It’s a damn shame I can’t get it in California. Woe is me.)}