Robert Mondavi

Cabernet Sauvignon

$8.88

Smells pretentious and has a dark burgundy color. It reminds me of my ’92 Buick LeSabre, with its purple/reddish fabric and wood paneling. I miss that car.

I got this wine because of its stately demeanor. Who is Robert Mondavi? Why does he have a floating tower on his label – is that where he lives? Should we all aspire to ascend above the clouds (or waves) and pour thick wine into the mouths of peasants?

I digress.

The initial flavor exploded into my face. Stale smoke and steak, like that dinner scene in the Matrix where our heroes are sold out and we contemplate our existence. I’m kind of impressed? I feel melancholy as I drink this familiar-feeling cab. I think I’m feeling two simultaneous nostalgias – yearning for 1999 Sci-Fi-Action masterpieces (there are several!) and missing house parties. This is definitely a house party bottle of wine, to be carried as an accessory by women across America.

Full disclosure – I only had one glass, before switching to fancy-fancy wine. It was overall the right decision. I did not have a terrible hangover.

Two days later, I remembered this wine. It sat patiently on my alcohol-shelf, looking like a disapproving pair of stern eyes. “Apologies to Robert Mondavi, I should never have kept you waiting,” I said, dusting it off carefully. I shoved the fancy decanter into the bottle (to improve the flavor) and poured myself another glass.

It was already skunked. Two thumbs down. This wine betrayed me almost as terribly as Cypher betrayed Morpheus & crew. Good riddance.

^{(Also, I am not sorry for the Matrix references sprinklered throughout this post. I quit my day-job and it’s a good movie.)}

^{(Fun fact – Robert Mondavi’s middle name was Gerald.)}