Cocobon

Red Blend

$6.49

_{I mean, I drank the whole thing.}

I spent way too much time dawdling around the wine aisle at Vons, looking for a bottle of wine. It was one of those “I’m stoned and hungry at the grocery store” days. My cart was overflowing with frozen pizza and ice cream. I kept going back and forth between the different options. My anxiety was only made worse when an elderly gentleman turned into the wine aisle, to find me – open mouthed and overwhelmed by the options, staring at the bottom shelf of the wine selection. I’m not positive, but I may have hissed at him Gollum-style from beneath my Larry David facemask.

Mortified, I grabbed this – Cocobon Vineyard’s unassuming red blend. It’s not what I wanted for my next blog post, but I think it’s the wine I deserved. I scurried out of the aisle and never saw that man again. I don’t think he realized how much of an impact he made.

This wine is “generic red blend” on steroids. It’s got all the signs of a wine you’d bring as an afterthought – a confusing name, a boring label, the words red blend on the front. I forgot about it for a week or two, before I begrudgingly remembered the old man and the wine aisle.

The initial smell was a bit bitter. More husky, dusky smells. Not a fan. But I continued to drink it, and the sour perfume turned into a muddled okay-ness that went down quickly. I have to admit it gave me a poetic burst of life.

Orange roof tiles
Overcast sky
If Hell is a place, it’s probably Los Angeles

Anyway, I got super drunk super quickly. This wine is deceptive. It sucks you in and coats your mouth like stale smoke and cracked pepper. Garlic aftertaste – though that might have been the frozen pizza. I even stomped my foot into a cardboard box, holding the empty bottle over my head and cheered. I’ll never have to drink this stupid wine again.